illustrator, madman
featured artwork
for sale
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the artist



May I use one of your images on my website, as a signature tag, to illustrate my role-playing game character, or for any other online purpose?

Fuck no! Don't take my shit, man. All my images are copyrighted throughout the world. Any unauthorized use is strictly prohibited. My images cannot be distributed or reproduced without my consent. Please understand that copyright infringement is a major issue on the internet and of great concern to me.

If you have a non-commercial fan art gallery type of site, and one of my illustrations fits its theme, you may be allowed to display one or more images with a link back to this website. Please use the contact form to request permission, and be sure to include which images you would like to display.

Altering any of my artwork is a dick move. Don't. I appreciates your enthusiasm, but I cannot allow any altering of my images. If you want a custom image and you aren't willing to pay for it,  go fuck yourself. And then learn to draw your own images.To report possible copyright infringement, including posting of my artwork with credit given to another individual, please contact me. Thanks for being a pal!

If an image is taken from paid work I did for a third party, there is also their copyright to consider.


May I use one of your images for my own personal tattoo?

Absolutely! And please send me a photo of the completed work (share it on my Facebook Page or tag me on twitter/instagram). But be warned, choose a skilled tattoo artist or I guarantee I will mock you publicly.

Note that while technically this violates copyright laws, as a tattoo is a commercial transaction, I will allow you to have one of my images reproduced as a permanent tattoo on your own body. I am granting this permission on a one-time basis, per tattoo.

If you have some other personal project in mind, please contact us using the website form, to request approval.

Interview Requests

I would like to interview you for a magazine article, school project, or because I want to be an artist and it's scary and I have questions and my mom's a nurse and my dad's a salesman and they have no idea.

Yeah, whatever. Please contact us using the website form. If the artist is able, he can email you himself or arrange to do an interview over the phone.


I want to commission you for a project. How much will it cost, and how much time will it take to finish?

Woah, slow down there, pony! First I have to accept the commission. Since every piece is different, and every client is unpredictable (no seriously, you may be a total pain to work with), I charge hourly for my work. Use the form, tell me what you want, and what your budget is, and I'll give you my best estimate of what I can do for you. Seriously, let me know what your budget is. I can work within almost any budget, but we avoid wasting each other's time if the price of what you really want is going to give you a heart attack. A commission from me includes a rough sketch, very minor adjustments, and then completed work. I do not allow you to "stand over my shoulder" while I work. If it's a digital piece, it will include a high-resolution file but not original artwork. If my response sounds good, I'll begin work after receiving your 50% deposit. That deposit is non-refundable. If you decide not to finish the commission or you don't want to pay for the rest of it, the deposit is mine.  If the piece turns out to be more complicated than the original estimate, you will be warned when it looks like the price is going up, and given some options to avoid that. As for time, I prefer to work when I'm most inspired, so some pieces sit for a while until I feel that spark. I'm not trying to avoid it, I just want us both to be happy with the outcome. If this is for a birthday gift or you have some other target date, let me know in the original inquiry, and I'll let you know if it can be done.

Does this sound like I'll be too difficult to work with? Fine. Don't contact me about your commission.

How do I hire you to illustrate this awesome children's book idea I have?

As a general rule, authors do not hire artists to do their book artwork. It is usually the responsibility of the publisher to do the packaging and advertising for a book and that includes the cover and interior art. If you plan to self-publish, and the idea doesn't suck fat monkey dick, send me some information through the contact form, and I'll get back to you if I'm interested. If I don't get back to you, your idea sucked fat monkey dick, there is no need to contact me again. Ever. 

Am I able to buy rights to existing artwork for other projects?

Usually yes… but it depends on a number of factors: availability, previous use, exclusivity, etc.  Use the contact form to request information. Include your intended use. 

Free Art

Awww, my awesome band loves ur artwork, but we dont have any $$.  Aw, sad panda! Can we totes use _____ image? We swear we kin pay you back when we get fukkin rich!

What are you, stupid? This is my livelihood, not a charity. If your music is so awesome, you'll get signed and be filthy rich before you know it. Then, and only then, come back and we can talk about the cover for your second album. Think of your new music career as a start-up. You gotta invest. And if that sounds hard, you might wanna reconsider your whole being alive, ness.

Do you do art trades?

Actually, yes! I love meeting and working with other artists. Just send a note through the contact form so we can hash out the details. Link to your gallery so I can be sure I'm not going to get poop smeared on a napkin in exchange for my work. 

I saw you mention free slaps (stickers) on Instagram. How do I get in on that?

The deal is, I'll be happy to send you some stickers, but the deal is you gotta post them publicly and take pictures with hashtags and links back to me. Otherwise, you're just picking my pocket, and I'll be absolutely sure to call you out online as a punk ass.

Email and Fan Mail

I emailed you, why didn’t you reply?

Jesus, dude. If I'm answering emails all day, when am I supposed to paint? If you are sure that you need to contact me personally, please click on the contact button and send another email. But if I don't reply, take the hint.

I get a lot of email, but I do try very hard to reply to everyone whose email warrants a response. If you have not heard back from me in a reasonable amount of time, please post a note on my Facebook page, in case some server issue is preventing your email from reaching me. 

I commissioned you for work, how can I check the status of that?

I promise if you have commissioned me for work, it is my top priority to get it done. BUT, I am a creative person and some days drawing your subject matter may just leave me pounding a bloody forehead print into my wall. On those days, I work on something else. But I will check in with you regularly to let you know what's up. Please don't hound me, your work won't come out better if I hate you by the end of the commission.

I bought something from your shop, but I haven't received it. What the hell?

If you have sent an email regarding an order you have placed through my Big Cartel shop and have not received a reply, please definitely contact me through Facebook. I try to mail out your purchases within five business days. I'll give you tracking information when it's shipped. If you ordered through Red Bubble, contact their support team, as I don't handle any of those transactions directly.

If you have any other question not covered here, please feel free to contact me using the website form.